Caffeine Enhanced Rant
Since my review of the Java by Drew Estate, I find myself drawn to Starbucks more than I’d like to say. Actually, I’ve been addicted to it for quite some time previous to the Java review, but I thought it necessary to at least throw in a reference to a cigar, for the rant you’re about to embark on has nothing to do with cigar smoking.
It’s a crisp and cool 101 degrees at 8:37 am on this fine Phoenix morning as I decide to make a quick run to the local Starbucks. If 101 weren’t bad enough, we’re on the edge of our monsoon season, and it felt like soup out there since the dew points are starting to rise. Anyhow, I digress.
As I round the corner into the parking lot, it seems excessively full. To my surprise, there were only two ladies in line ahead of me, which at the time didn’t seem altogether bad, until I noticed a 3-inch stack of rechargeable Starbucks cards in the employee’s hand. As it turns out, the first lady in line (Lady #1) purchased 30 cards, charging each with $5.00. First of all, I’m assuming that she’ll be passing these out to her employees as some kind of “thank you” or “appreciation gift”, but I ask you this, would you be all that excited to receive $5.00 in Starbucks cash? That may buy you one visit at best! Again, I digress. Secondly, as the line grows behind me to the likes of 10 or more people, Lady #1 never once turned her head to see the log jam she had just created (during the busiest time of the morning mind you). She merely side-stepped and started milling around the sale bin trying desperately to avoid all eye contact with the pre-caffeine morning grumpers waiting patiently for their pick-me-up.
Ten minutes goes by, and Matt (behind the counter) finally finishes charging up the cards when Lady #2 unfolds a laundry list of drinks and lays it on the counter. Let me start by saying that nothing annoys me more than someone designated to complete a Starbucks run for the office. It’s not like they could just order a mammoth coffee dispenser to go, that would be fine, but this list had things I’ve never even heard of (such like the In-n-Out Burger secret menu). As Matt (behind the counter) patiently recites the list back to Lady #2, corrections are made, frustrations are climbing and the line behind me is growing, all the while the rumblings are becoming louder and louder.
Finally after the 17 minutes spent in line behind Ladies #1 & 2, I finally approach the counter with a simple request of a Grande drip (just a regular cup-o-joe for those non-Starbucks types). Of course my simple request was made with an overly loud and sarcastic tone so Ladies #1 & 2 could hear my frustration along with a smirk of recognition from Matt. All in my entire request encapsulated roughly 20 seconds from start to finish.
What is the purpose of this rant you may ask? Well, for those of you who find yourselves in similar situations, don’t you think it would be wise to start a line just for those basic coffee drinkers to get their cups and go? For something as basic as a cup of coffee, without the “half-mocha-double-shot-half-caff-caramel-2 Splenda-cream and whip-with soy”, wouldn’t an express line make sense? Dare I say have a full carafe waiting at all times with cups ready on the side for patrons to use for a buck on the honor system? Okay maybe that’s unrealistic, but surely an express line would help in the morning.
Shame on you Starbucks for making us normal coffee drinkers wait such a long time for such a simple pleasure. Not like this rant will do any good, for I’ll most likely find myself in the same line, behind the same people at the same time tomorrow morning; although there’s always hope. Now I must run, my coffee is getting cold!
The Goddess of Caffeine
It’s a crisp and cool 101 degrees at 8:37 am on this fine Phoenix morning as I decide to make a quick run to the local Starbucks. If 101 weren’t bad enough, we’re on the edge of our monsoon season, and it felt like soup out there since the dew points are starting to rise. Anyhow, I digress.
As I round the corner into the parking lot, it seems excessively full. To my surprise, there were only two ladies in line ahead of me, which at the time didn’t seem altogether bad, until I noticed a 3-inch stack of rechargeable Starbucks cards in the employee’s hand. As it turns out, the first lady in line (Lady #1) purchased 30 cards, charging each with $5.00. First of all, I’m assuming that she’ll be passing these out to her employees as some kind of “thank you” or “appreciation gift”, but I ask you this, would you be all that excited to receive $5.00 in Starbucks cash? That may buy you one visit at best! Again, I digress. Secondly, as the line grows behind me to the likes of 10 or more people, Lady #1 never once turned her head to see the log jam she had just created (during the busiest time of the morning mind you). She merely side-stepped and started milling around the sale bin trying desperately to avoid all eye contact with the pre-caffeine morning grumpers waiting patiently for their pick-me-up.
Ten minutes goes by, and Matt (behind the counter) finally finishes charging up the cards when Lady #2 unfolds a laundry list of drinks and lays it on the counter. Let me start by saying that nothing annoys me more than someone designated to complete a Starbucks run for the office. It’s not like they could just order a mammoth coffee dispenser to go, that would be fine, but this list had things I’ve never even heard of (such like the In-n-Out Burger secret menu). As Matt (behind the counter) patiently recites the list back to Lady #2, corrections are made, frustrations are climbing and the line behind me is growing, all the while the rumblings are becoming louder and louder.
Finally after the 17 minutes spent in line behind Ladies #1 & 2, I finally approach the counter with a simple request of a Grande drip (just a regular cup-o-joe for those non-Starbucks types). Of course my simple request was made with an overly loud and sarcastic tone so Ladies #1 & 2 could hear my frustration along with a smirk of recognition from Matt. All in my entire request encapsulated roughly 20 seconds from start to finish.
What is the purpose of this rant you may ask? Well, for those of you who find yourselves in similar situations, don’t you think it would be wise to start a line just for those basic coffee drinkers to get their cups and go? For something as basic as a cup of coffee, without the “half-mocha-double-shot-half-caff-caramel-2 Splenda-cream and whip-with soy”, wouldn’t an express line make sense? Dare I say have a full carafe waiting at all times with cups ready on the side for patrons to use for a buck on the honor system? Okay maybe that’s unrealistic, but surely an express line would help in the morning.
Shame on you Starbucks for making us normal coffee drinkers wait such a long time for such a simple pleasure. Not like this rant will do any good, for I’ll most likely find myself in the same line, behind the same people at the same time tomorrow morning; although there’s always hope. Now I must run, my coffee is getting cold!
The Goddess of Caffeine
posted by Fumo Santo | 11:21 AM
3 Comments:
Ever since I visited my uncle in Miami over winter break I have been craving the great cuban coffee I had down there. Just go up to the counter, order a little cup and drink standing up at one of the high tables. Nice strong espresso with lots of great foam... Yum.
Mike,
Been there, done that. AHHHHHH!
Designated gophers need to be banned from the morning rush hour . . . why do they call it rush hour? . . . but I digress.
Great site.
Joe in Flag
I also drink just drip with a fancy twist, a couple of ice cubes so I dont have to wait a freaking half hour to drink it. A barista once asked me what a grande drip was. Duh.
Post a Comment
<< Home